i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am naked and annoyed.
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