WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
