Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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