I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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