That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Randomize
