i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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