I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
