She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize