we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
