Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
