He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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