sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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