Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
