Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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