I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
