i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
