Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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