I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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