Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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