it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
