She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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