how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
