This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
