well I can't set my house on fire every night
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
