it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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