I must be too annoying 4 u.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
