I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
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The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
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Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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