Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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