god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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