How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
