So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
