whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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