God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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