Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
