i barfeds in our rink
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
