Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
