i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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