I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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