Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
