Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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