He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The ass gains better be worth it
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