I skipped work to stalk him.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
