I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
