I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Houston, we have a squirter
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
