I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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