i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
