Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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