I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just want to make out with him forever
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
