so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
