I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
