i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
