The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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