I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
