And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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