I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
