it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
