Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
