Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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