just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
