Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
