I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
