Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
