I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
not ubering you a puppy
last night I used snow as a chaser
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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